You made perfect sense to me. I'm -a little- relieved I'm not the only one with these feelings, thanks for sharing and being here. Obviously I have more issues on the brain than the one I posted about, but your comment really helped to ease some of the turmoil on this part of the problem.

Lonely is a lot easier to deal with if you are not aware of an alternative. I allowed myself to get close to people in the past year; I'm both dissapointed and proud about that.