You don't have to be sick to be dying

[beelikej]

I'm weepie. I was planning a big post about how I feel, but it probably sounds more coherent in my head, so I'm just gonna write down the final destiny of my wandering mind's journey. My resolution for days to come is to go back to being cynical. I feel like it's the best option for me as to not be torn apart with feelings and worries about friends and family. I liked myself a lot better when I wasn't so concerned about/with others. It's not meant to sound as dramatic as that; nobody is in any life-danger -including me-, but I just can't handle this whole friend thing. I'm making too big a deal of it and it makes me feel like a loser.

I desperately want to be a happy loner again.

Comments

[lizphairrulz.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Mind going into details for the one who's been MIA?

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

Nobody is MIA, although they might run after this lovely post. I just feel I may have been too clingy for my own peace of mind, so it's more my problem than anyone else's.
I really enjoy seeing you back in lj, though *hugs*.

[chemfishee.livejournal.com]

But... But... But...

Hmpf. In all seriousness, though, that's a completely understandable feeling. Quite alright.

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

I've been very hormonal, can you tell? But that's not the reason for feeling sad, it just brings out my deep hidden feelings, I think. And it's got nothing to do with the friends, but all the more with me putting too much weight on others. I don't want to be that dependent.

Thanks for understanding. *hugs*

[chemfishee.livejournal.com]

Well, that's what friendship is supposed to be about. It's reciprocal. And yeah...

You're quite welcome. Always here to listen. *hugs*

[sillie]

I just can't handle this whole friend thing.

*hugs* It's quite hard sometimes, isn't it?

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

It is, it makes me doubt myself, which I hate. But then I get a nice reply from someone giving support and I remember why it's worth keeping faith;) *hugs*