beelikej: (Kate)
[personal profile] beelikej
Last night I was so caught up in a story, I sat behind my computer reading until 04.30 am. I still managed to get up at 06.30 and work all day *g*, but needless to say my brain was a bit fried. In a jettlaggy way. (Thank you [livejournal.com profile] artistic_sillie for the rec to the first chapter of that mega-fic)

I'll give you the link to the whole damn story later, but since it brought up some questions I want to talk to you about SEX first, so don't scroll down yet;)

Because I've always been a bit confused about the meaning of the phrase 'having sex'. (I know I'm not the only one, seeing as there have been discussions about the subject up to the highest level of government in the USA...).
In this fic the college-students only use that verb for the act of penetrating the vagina or anus with a penis. While I thought 'having sex' applied to everything involving touching genitals. But seeing as even a former President doesn't consider a blowjob part of having sex, I guess I'm wrong.

But I did some research and I found it may be a linguistic issue more than a social issue. Because in Dutch we use the same word (except we spell it differently after the last language debate *rolls eyes*) and according to my dictionary
seks = handelingen en gevoelens die te maken hebben met lichamelijke opwinding en vrijen;
which translated comes to:
"actions and feelings concerning physical excitement and fondling". (the meaning of the word 'vrijen' flows from cuddling to making out to fucking)

But the english dictionary says this:
sex - sexual intercourse
have sex - have sexual intercourse with;

I suppose intercourse is the decent word for fucking? Because that would explain why people say they are not having sex even though there may have been handjobs, blowjobs and/or licking/touching below the belt. To me this feels like some sort of denial of intimate physical contact. I think it's actually hypocritical and a bit weird. As is the part that you can only have sex 'with' someone apparently. Because I think you can absolutely have sex on your own, but according to this definition I am not having sex. Huh.

But wait: the definition of intercourse = the act of having sex. Great. Right back where I started getting confused. So I guess 'having sex' CAN mean all of the above? It just depends on your own point of view?

I did notice all the synonyms for having sex - (bonk, do it, eff, fuck, get it on, get laid, have a go at it, have intercourse, have it away, have it off, be intimate, lie with, roll in the hay, screw, sleep together, sleep with, make love, hump, jazz, love, bed, bang, make out, know) refer to the act of penetration, not sucking or licking.

Thoughts anyone? I'm really curious to know whether there is confusion about this in other languages. I fear sex in general is a source for miscommunication?

If you need time to think about the subject (or do some research;), here is the promised link to that fic, in which Jared and Jensen are not having sex. Okay maybe a little... eventually... *g*
Things I Learned My Freshman Year Of College (The verse continues into the summervacation and beyond, which is what I'm gonna read now. I hope I manage to get more sleep tonight. One more day until the weekend. I need to be fit since I'm planning a trip to Amsterdam;)
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