As if I have any mystery left

[beelikej]

Ask me a serious (or not) question about one (or more) of the following:

1. friends
2. sex
3. music
4. drugs
5. love
6. livejournal
7. porn
8. the future

No matter how rude, sexual or confidential... I will answer honestly.

(Anonymous comments are allowed as usual, but I will not screen.
If you want to keep it private, mail me;)

Comments

[hey-its-michael.livejournal.com]

Do you like porn, and if so, what kind?

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

It depends on the medium in which it's presented:) I'm not very interested in videos of people having sex. I find it technically informative, but not attractive or arousing. In the past I did enjoy watching the occassional anime, but I like to have an opportunity to use my imagination. So I love to read porn.
When it comes to fanfiction I read slash stories (male/male) and my favorite stories are first time fic (clumsy sex is a bonus;) and curtain fic (established relationships) with maybe some experimental kinky stuff.
In hardcore porn fiction (for instance Literotica/Nifty websites) I do read stories with female characters and to my own surprise I learned I have a preference for the rougher porn.

Did that answer your question?

[hey-its-michael.livejournal.com]

Definitely :o)

[tanisafan.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have found the ultimate question! How important are these 7 things in your life, aka, in which order would you give these up, from 1 to 7?

XD

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

Good one. I'd give up first:
1. the future (I tend to live day by day anyway)
2. love (still think it's overrated)
3. friends (see love)
4. livejournal (I blog therefore I am)
5. porn (more important than food even)
6. music (*clings*)
7. sex (even though apparently I'm not having any, nor have I had any in a very long time, I'm going with my own criteria and I'm not giving this up)

(The order could totally be influenced by current feelings of extreme lust, but since that is my default state these days I have to say this answer is pretty accurate most of the time;)

[kennedy-unknown.livejournal.com]

Okay, serious question. And I'm not going to go anonymous.

Why do you think you feel so little about love and friendship? What has happened to you to make you feel that way? Is it a self-defense mechanism?

Do you think it protects you? And do you ever wonder about how it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy when you can push people away by making comments like that to the people who are trying to be your friends?

ETA: That sounds harsher than it is intended, but I am just genuinely interested.

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

Wow. To me that didn't sound harsh at all actually, I love straight forward questions.

I'm sure I inherited the lack of care for love and friendship. Nothing specific has happened to me, but I have experienced (and copied) behavior that pushes people away. (Ignoring someone is a very good strategy) Maybe it is self-defense, but not in a sense to protect myself from getting hurt, but more a way of avoiding involvement. Everytime I open myself up to someone, I feel like I'm losing control. I get too needy for their attention and I turn into this dependent clingy person.

I suppose it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, or it would be if others would believe me when I say I could do without friends. I keep trying to make that clear and somehow people think I'm kidding or insecure. I'm not; I love myself. And I like myself a lot more on my own.

I rather not invest time in others at all than have a seemingly close friendship and interpret their interest for something more than is really there. I can't handle the insecurity that comes with dealing with others.

Does that make any sense?