This is why my BFF won't read my blog: TMI

[beelikej]

Sigh. The boobs of doom have been bothering me ever since my last pms/period cycle. Normally they would only hurt during the week of pms and then I'd be done with them until the next month. But they've been painfully defying gravity for weeks now and it's driving me mad. I haven't worn a bra since I was 24, but last week I found myself in several shops considering buying one. I'm getting a little desperate; in my memory bras are very uncomfortable. Walking around with no support is not ideal either (I do wear tight sportshirts during pms), but wearing a bra made me even more aware of my chest and I hate being reminded of my female-status all the time. The last time I tried on a bra I nearly cried, that's how much I didn't want to wear one, I felt very awkward and returned it to the shop.
The weight I lost in the past months has not only come off my belly, but also shrunk my breasts to a point where I actually even appreciate them, but I'm getting really emotional thinking about having to wear a bra.

Another thing that has been on my mind a lot is my still increasing need for sex. As I understand from a discussion last year, masturbation is not considered 'having sex', but it's all I have, since I'm not slutty enough to go out and grab another willing body. But the horny has reached a level where I'm seriously thinking about trying to find someone to satisfy my needs. Although I'm very good at enjoying myself, I'm so fucking tense and on edge ALL THE TIME I fear I'm gonna get into trouble when my brain loses control.
I heard women reach their peak at forty, but I don't know if I can last another year with these raging hormones. (I talked to my mom about this and she said I might not be 'average', meaning I should be prepared to have these extreme feelings way beyond forty. Thanks mom.)

Ehm. Yeah. I welcome (anonymous) thoughts and suggestions.

Comments

I never go anonymous

[sneaky-sena.livejournal.com]

You totally can find comfy bras, I promise you. The biggest thing is to get fitted for one so you know you've got the right size (something like 75% of women are wearing the wrong size). And why not go for a sports bra? They're my favorite, especially when I've got PMS and am sore and achey. If you can find a sports bra with sized cups, all the better. Sports bras are awesome because they're made to move with your body and give you actual support (instead of pushing you up and out for the whole world to see), plus they wick any sweat away from your skin, which is why I tend to wear them at work whether or not I've got PMS.

As for the sex thing, well, I don't know what to tell you. I go in cycles where for weeks I can be uninterested, and then for a few months all I want is sex. I totally count masturbation as sex, though, and advocate some new fun toys if you're bored with your current routine. My Hitachi Magic Wand is totally one of my best friends.

Re: I never go anonymous

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

I never go anonymous either;)

Thanks for the advice. I think it will take me some time to be emotionally ready to go bra-shopping, but I appreciate the explanations. Obviously I have no idea what size I am, so I'll make sure to work that out before I make the decision to buy.

In the past there have been periods when I didn't have sex on the brain but the last one is a lot of toys ago. It's not that I don't enjoy myself immensely, but my (bio)rhythm is seriously screwed up because of all the time I dedicate to the cause, especially since I became a fan of delayed gratification.

[tanisafan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if you get a saleswoman who is actually knowledgeable and can help you find the right bra, I promise they'll make you more comfortable.

And I agree with S's advice about finding shiny new toys!

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

The idea of having to listen to a saleswoman is enough for me to get nervous. *twitches* (Because I would have to get down from my high horse - does that make sense?)

Ahw yeah. My toys are doing their job perfectly, although I do have a couple of accessories on my wishlist;) But with the time and energy I put into enjoying myself, I really do not need more equipment to increase the fun. I'm wearing myself out already.

[tanisafan.livejournal.com]

That does make sense. But I think you'll feel more comfortable after, and in the long run that's what's important, right?

And okay *thinks*. May be a stupid suggestion, but. Fitness? Yoga? Pilates? Anything that wears you out and gets you all sweaty and sleepy? Plus, it gives you endorphins, and it's a good hobby to have that will put Other Thoughts out of your head for a it?

[sillie]

Bra's... I actually never go out of the house without one, I really need the support. But it can be a pain to find one that's comfortable. I actually don't like to have a saleswoman next to me, but then again, I know my size, which helps of course. The trick is to find a bra that's so comfortable, you forget you're wearing it. Anyway... good luck with it!

As for the sex issue... I'm not really the person for advice. :'3 I think it's way less important for me than other people. Or I'm just way less horny, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just because I don't know what I'm missing. I hope you figure something out for yourself that works for you soon, though. :3

[beelikej.livejournal.com]

I really dread having to endure a saleswoman. However, I found marvelous information on the HEMA-website and I'm confident that will help me figure out my size. I prefer to try them on at home. It's nerve-wracking enough having to find the courage to actually buy the damn things. Let's see how long that will take me.

I don't have very much experience when it comes to sex with other people, but I've never missed it;) I just wish I didn't have this urge to enjoy myself to the point of exhaustion. I guess I long for someone else to do the work. *g*